I have suffered from depression for 20years on/off. Been medicated for it on and off - particularly more so when the father of my kids died followed a few months later by my fathers death.
I'm arguing with my partner at the moment by text...doesn't have anxiety, doesn't know anything about it....only knows I have suffered from depression - doesn't realise it's also linked to my anxiety.
This year has been difficult...moved into a new rental, babysat a friends child over the past 2months at least 9x, my partner's brother and his family stayed at our 3bedroom place 1 night & the baby i was sitting making a total of 11 in my home during the day and 10 at night. Then my partners mother flew in and stayed a week...mix with that my partners best friend and her boyfriend for 3 of those days. I couldn't cope...basically stopped eating at home, went to my room and went to sleep...leaving my kids in their care because my lounge and kitchen were overrun by everyone else. They cleaned, cooked, everything. My partner thinks I go to my room for alone time...like it's a choice.... doesn't get that I can't cope with all these guests all at once. Now everyone is uncomfortable with me and won't be staying here in future - would rather book hotel rooms and best friends boyfriend slept in his car in the driveway because he felt tension and uncomfortable in my home. Don't get me wrong I had warning - I was asked the night before to babysit and told by my partner that the brother and his lot were coming that weekend. I was asked by partners best friend and boyfriend if they could stay the weekend - but they changed plans and didn't tell me - instead told my partner who had to relay the message.
I have nothing against any of them...they are all lovely but I'm destroying my family... and now I think I'm on the edge of needing meds again.
And I'm the bad guy. I stopped eating anything but a slice of bread this weekend...that's all i can stomach. I feel my anxiety is causing my headaches, stomach aches, constantly tired and angry, upset, annoyed.
Hurts to want people around but not to be able to cope with it. Feel like I should let my partner go and get on with life without me...if I just take care of me and my kids then everyone can be happy.
Have a funny feeling my dad suffered from this - he would always run to his bedroom if there were too many people at home...he would introduce himself and all but always retreated back to his room. My little brother (25yrs) is not much for socialising either and we used to have to pry his fingers off the car door to get him to go shopping with us etc...