What I want to be able to do in a year from now


Hey so I have a few things I love doing in private, but I would love to do them in front of other people. The main thing is singing. I love to do this and I don’t think I’m terrible. I don’t sing for the hopes of others liking what I sing, but just because it is fun. So that is my goal in a year to be able to sing in front of anyone. I think this goal setting is super important because it gives you a reason to keep pushing. What is the one thing you hope to be able to do in front of anyone in a year from now? Maybe your ideas will help others.


Hi Phoenixia

In about a year I will have an academic paper to present at a conference in front of about 200 people. The thought fills me with dread but I hope that I will overcome it in order to progress with my SA. I hope. I’m having a lot of bad days recently…


Hi Phoenixia and duncan,

I hope to become a better communicator within a year. Like probably most of us here, for much of my life public speaking would have been a complete nightmare. You know what I’m talking about. Not just the usual panic that everyone feels, but the anticipatory anxiety and dread and depression that comes months before a presentation and the endless embarrassment felt afterwards, all thanks to social anxiety. Well, now I don’t have all that crazy pain surrounding public speaking. And I’ve done it enough, I’ve been a teacher and all that. But, still presenting, communicating - not just public speaking - is a skill that everyone can get better at. So, I have that as a goal to work on this year. I see it as more exciting than dreadful now.

As for singing - you can do it! In time, baby steps. Sing at home. Karaoke at home maybe. Then karoake at home with a friend maybe. Or go to a karaoke (starting with a small room) with a friend, then a group of friends, then maybe keep working up. I’m not a singer. I wish I had a voice, but singing is certainly fun and healthy for us all. I watch the local group members here do karaoke and I’m amazed. They all do such a great job just by doing it, not to be judged on voice. Just the fact that they get up there and have fun!


I believe in you. I am the weirdest combination of ambitious and full of social anxiety. I ran for school president in high school and actually ended up being co-president with some other popular girl. Then I realized I had to give a speech in front of everyone at graduation and I was terrified. It wasn’t easy, but I got through it and I believe you can do it.


That’s awesome that you are able to handle public speaking now. I still struggle with that. I agree with wanting to be better at communicating. The way I try and go about it is break down all the pieces of being a good communicator, eye contact, tonality, not running out of things to say, and then just practice each part for a week at a time.

I’ve done a little karaoke on cruise ships, but it always had to be with a friend. I’m sure I’ll get there.


Hi Phoenixia,

It sounds like you prepare well for speaking - preparation that any and all good public speakers should go through.

Also, I wish you luck and support on your singing. It is not a sign of “problems” or “deficiencies” if one cannot sing in front of a large group of people. Most people I know would not want to, nor be good at, singing in public. So for others reading this - there is no necessary formula that one must do to become better. I point this out not for you, Phoenixia, but for others who might be reading this.

It’s great to have goals. If you enjoy singing and this is a positive goal for you, I’m sure you will get there. Stay rational with it, enjoy where you are now with it, too.


I wonder how ambition, achievement and SA interact?