So, things are getting better... And worse in some parts.
I finished my training and after many complicated and unlucky situations, I got my validations and I do my dream job full time.
All this getting used to things was very hard and many times I was really anxious and scared. There are thousands new people I meet every day. Luckily they are all very nice but you know how it goes with SAD.
Bad news is, things have changed at work and soon I will be working in 3 shifts. I tried night work before and I have very bad experience. It just messes up my bio rythm and makes my life living hell.
At first, I wanted to quit and find something else to do. But things here are very good and I will try it for 1 cyclus. If it is very bad, I will speak with my superiors. If that doesn’t work, I will find something good to do. I am very qualified now and my anxiety is not slowing me down in my business plans any more.
The other good thing is, now I live in Dublin. I just love this place and people. I would love to meet socially anxious people from the area to hang out and share experiences.
Me and a friend from back home went out last weekend. Normal for Dublin, we started drinking like crazy and the night was great. Every time I drink I want to meet a girl but usually I am to anxious to approach any of them.
Here, it is a different story. After a few drinks, we went for a rock concert in a club. And random girl came and smiled and tried to start a conversation. It was so easy, I couldn’t believe it. I became still very anxious and I moved away. But it made my day.
My friend wanted to go further to meet some peoole that he knows and that have some drugs. We met them sitting in the garden of the great pub and we joined the table.
People were great fun. I shared a joint with them and we had few more beers. I was tempted to take some pills they were taking but I was worried it could me anxious or depressed later.
Few people went in dancing and few of us left. Moment later, a girl came out and asked me why I don’t go in to dance. I never dance because it makes me extremely anxious. I declined and said I am not interested. She was there few more moments and went in again.
It was over 4.00 am and I was thinking about taking the bus home while I can still find it. At one point 3 very attractive girls came out and asked to join our table...
It was just to much for me. I was very drunk but all these experiences stressed me out a lot. I just couldn’t take it. I said I have to go for a bus and they can sit with my friends.
After 1 hour, I got home and my friend called me. He was totaly drogged but he told me that they met a group of brazilian girls and they are going to their house for a party. The girls aparently are training to be strippers and have dancing pole in a living room. I am not sure if he halucunated or just lied. I will ask him about this party next weekend I see him. But it definitely is some story.
I was a bit sorry later but honestly, I saw enough that night. This place totaly surprised me with how people are open. And I didn’t even olan to meet anyone new.
I don’t know how all these new people feel about me but now I don’t even care. I can meet planty of people as everybody is open and friendly. I wish I was...
Now I think how I went out just to meet my friend and drink and we experienced so much. I didn’t even plan to meet anyone new.
Next time I will plan so I will be little more ready. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe I finally meet my irish girlfriend.