Hadn't thought about projecting, that helped thanks. I also think that trying to distance yourself from your thoughts is very important.
You know, if someone walks up to me and says "I hate you", I don't think I'd care so much about that by it's own if I hadn't created a lot of own thoughts about it. Like "That's terrible","He is mean", "It's unfair, I haven't done him any wrong", "What if we can never be friends again", "What if .... yada yada yada". Those thoughts give a lot of negative emotions. If I can catch them and see it's my own thoughts that I project on the world it's easier to drop them.
Sometimes I too think we are our own worst enemy. We beat ourselves up with our thoughts and projections and then we wonder why we feel so bad. No one "out there" can implant bad thoughts in our heads but they don't have to as we're so good at doing that ourselves