I understand how you feel. I have struggled with SA for a long time. I was always shy growing up but it seems that my SA has gotten worse the older I get. I'm 34 right now, married, and with 2 children. Nevertheless, I often feel alone and frustrated due to my SA. It has affected my work (I've quit great jobs & I stick to jobs that keep me away from too much interaction with others) and as you, I struggle in my social life. Up until a few months ago, I had zero friends. Right now I have one friend I'm working on. I say working on because although I've known her for about a year we only get together every 2-3 months for coffee or drinks and because I hate talking on the phone, we communicate through texts. I take things super slow with all of this because of my issues and every time we get together I go through tons of mental preparation and I even go check out the area where we'll meet before the date if I've never been there before to make sure nothing surprises me (I know, it's crazy).
Having SA and being a parent at the same time is difficult for me because I want to set a good example for my kids and they see how challenging & draining life is for me (my kids are already a pre-teen and a teenager). So I get it.
I started the online therapy (I'm on week 7 right now) and I feel it's helping me so far. I'm hopeful things will get better. Have you started therapy?
My best wishes. Hang in there!