John here, writer of the post you've responded to.
I'm sure moving around a lot may have triggered a certain unsettled feeling in you that would have consolidated into something more permanent. Although I lived at the same address my whole life, there were certain unsettling elements attached to my childhood that may have morphed into similar feelings.
I'm the middle kid in a family of 8, which meant hand-me-downs a-plenty.
My brother (the gorgeous one), who's only 14 months older than me and therefore, similar in size, would pretty much always get the good stuff as it filtered down.
Not only did I come off second best, but the stuff I got was usually naff, kids would make fun of me and so on...
...now, I know you mentioned not being able to change the past and I agree with you, but in my opinion, if the past has a direct effect on the present, there's precious little other option open except to revisit and rethink it if not necessarily, redo, or change it. In short, by revisiting and reassessing, we can understand it better and reshape its affect on us in the present.
Another aspect of being part of a large family was apart from rarely getting good stuff, if I did, it would only be for short periods of time.
An example of this would be my mother's philosophy of sharing everything, which in itself is lovely.
However, when I'd get a FULL bar of chocolate, this would be spirited away and divided.
This resulted in a fear of not being able to hold onto something of value for long periods of time, which has somehow made me more impulsive and nervous.
Another trigger may be that my Birthday falls on December 27, which meant my Christmas presents sometimes doubled as Birthday presents - anyway, you get the picture.
In your case, being moved around a lot has given you a similar experience. Perhaps you grew up developing a mechanism to protect you from that feeling of have to leave new friends after forming close bonds. As a young kid, you may not have noticed its impact as much, but as you grew older, perhaps you started to shy away from forming these bonds for the fear of losing them again.
This may be complex stuff and I don't want to burden you, but I've found that by challenging my past, whether it eases my social phobia or not, sets me on a path of understanding.
Perhaps the more I understand, the easier it will be to overcome.
I also feel if we thrash this out, we will overcome it.
As I said in my initial post, I don't want to be the boy under the desk anymore. I want to come out and be happy. Play with the other kids. Not be ashamed of whatever it was I did, said, wore, had, or otherwise.
I'm a father and a good one, but I'm still that kid under the desk.
Looking forward to your next reply.