Hi guys! Just wanted to drop and say hi to everyone here. It's wonderful that SA is now a more recognized symptom due to the work of SAI and others.
My SA and depression began in HS, but its roots began in elementary school. I am a child of immigrant parents in the US. Being part of a minority group, I never felt as if I belonged in my elementary school, which was mostly populated by Caucasian kids. There were only a few Asian kids in my class. Now, that's not to say the other kids weren't nice to me, but I still felt a distinct difference in culture and upbringing. This feeling continued through middle school. I met immigrant kids, and still felt...like I didn't belong since I had also Americanized a bit. So I felt like I didn't really belong in either group, so to speak.
Spring forward to HS, I had finally found a few kids that I liked. I had befriended them from 8th grade and things were pretty good. Then came along a really domineering type of person who took over the group. This person dictated what kinds of things we should like - the music (Arashi), the media (anime), etc. This person also took distinct pleasure in humiliating others in public. I still remember a kid who others picked on as odd, and boy, did that kid really get the fire. Well, I later became friends with that bullied kid, and later I was kicked out. The leader took the method of entirely ignoring my existence until I plucked up some courage and confronted her directly. I was told that I was excluded because I was "violent" for poking that friend's arm with a pencil.
After that, it was just...sigh. I was seriously depressed for the rest of HS; I contemplated suicide; I cried everyday in class and nobody gave a shit, not even the teachers.
Now: I'm not depressed as anymore, and I was forced to really look inward for answers. I still get super anxious over the tiniest of things, like text groups not answering.
...Sorry that went downhill fast.
Anyways, here's some hope that SAI will help.