You bring back the memory of someone, in approximately 2003, asking me if I felt it was "more important to be liked or respected." I don't remember what I replied, but in thinking about the motivation for the question, although it was painful to be asked this, I believe they were aware that at that time I lived as if it was FAR more important to be liked first, respected second.
Now, many years later, it is the opposite. And that has made some "new situations" in my life. The new situations, by virtue of their being new for me, are scary. But despite the fact that they are Very Scary--I can't seem to get myself to revert to The Old Lucy.
Increasingly, she just isn't me now, and no more than I could have lived differently than I was living in the past (trying way-too-hard to get people to like me, at any cost), I can't live, now, like I value being liked over being genuinely respected--and treated respectfully.
And now it requires learning new behaviors to live that life.
That's the tough part.