I think it is totally okay for you to be feeling this way at this point in the series. Try not to pressure yourself! You do the therapy at your own pace, whatever feels right for you! I am on session 13 now. One of my biggest fears is sitting around a table and making conversations because then I feel there is no where for me to escape if I start feeling anxious symptoms (blushing,sweating) but these are ANTS. But I also only feel anxious around certain people and certain situations. So what I have been doing is just taking each moment as they come, Day by Day. There’s no way that you can map out and plan what you will do and where you will go every day. That would take too long and be too stressful. So I just live with the flow of what is going on. If I’m at school, I won’t avoid attending events. When I do go to events, I will find an easy person to talk to and use slow talk. I also try to make plans with my friends in ways that make me comfortable such as I invite my friends over my house so that I feel comfortable or I may go for a walk with friends. I am not avoiding doing things with people, I just choose the easiest situations to put myself in… Soentimes going out to eat at restaurants makes me anxious because like I said earlier, I feel confined at a table, so if I know my friends are making plans to go out to someplace that I know I’m not ready to appproach yet, then I will just make different plans and do something I feel more comfortable with. I tell myself that maybe someday in the future, I will be able to do sit at a table in a restaurant and not have much anxiety about it… Also, I feel that my blushing doesn’t last as longer as it did in the past. I feel I have more control over it and that I am more aware of my feelings now. In the past, my blushing would last for like 30 min to an hour. I feel like now it’s not as bad. I keep reading over the Acceptance handout. After a social event, regardless how it went, I try not to beat myself up over it or think about it too much. What happened yesteday, last week, last month, or last year is over and done with. We can’t change it. So why Dwell about something that can’t be changed? Let go and move on.
I understand how you feel about the physical symptom of shaking. I know how it feels when you “think” you can’t control your hands. But this is all irrational. We really can control our emotions more than we think we can. Instead of fighting this feeling, i would just say to myself
“Okay, this is happening again. I just accept it and move on. I have the right to look anxious. I have the right to feel this way. I know that it will pass.” And then just try to ignore these symptoms. With time, it will be easier to do this. I know things will get better for you soon! Just keep continuing the therapy! Keep us updated on your progress !!