I have been feeling better as far as my anxiety going down but i went to church tonight and after church i talked to some people and i was feeling very anxious i dont know if i am flooding myself or not i live with 10 other people so i am practicing at home but alot of the time i dont know what to say in social situations is this something we will learn in the future im just feeling overwhelmed by all of these techniques and thinking that i lack the ability to conversate i dont know really does anyone else feel like this
Continue with the therapy. Continue on. I know that answer doesn’t sound fun, but it’s true.
It will be the accumulation of therapy, continued reinforcement that adds up, that allows you to tell yourself that maybe you do have things to say. Maybe you can talk with people. You’re talking with me right now, by writing what you did. Of course you have the ability to talk, of course you can make small talk. You already prove that you can do so with your housemates, and with the people at your church. YOU DID DO IT!
We just don’t need to judge how we did on that. That’s not useful or rational. Everyone here will understand how you feel.
You do not need practice on how to speak or make small talk. You need the continued therapy and cognitive ideas to allow you to be rational about this action, before, during and after. And then with time and actually doing it, yes, you’ll feel more confident that you can do it just fine, just like everyone else, and just like you do now, except with a rational foundation from which you don’t go into the over-thinking about it.
Thank you so much i feel alot better about it now
Hi Emily I thought everything I did for my anxiety, was helping, but in fact it was making it worse,
When I was meeting friends, I would rehearse everything I was going to say, go over it a hundred times in my head,
But all this was doing was making me more anxious, because all I was doing was adding pressure to the situation, ( I thought these were my safety behaviour, )
It was when I let go of all this, and just relaxed, I used slow talk, and practiced the attitudes handout, SO WHAT? WHO CARES?, ITS JUST NO BIG DEAL.
The conversations flow more easily, and you will find your not thinking about what your talking about, if that makes sense😀 and your just enjoying the conversation.
There’s no perfect conversation or there’s no right or wrong way to say something, again just relax, and you will be surprised how easily the conversation flows,
Just stick with therapy and practice, practice and repetition, repetition can’t say that enough,
Ask yourself, why are you talking to these people? Is talking to these people meaningful or meaningless to you?
If it is meaningful to you as in they are people you enjoy speaking to and want to socialise with then keep up with it but if you are just socialising because you feel abliged to or just to practise your therapy skills then consider not talking to them.