I am a 46 year old Indonesian living in a remote island of Sumba, worth visiting by NA suffering tourists. I am a public servant but also do a part time job as a tour guide. Well it is so unbearably hard for suffereri of SA to live here. I don't know who tourn to and where to go. I don't have money for the luxury of SA therapies. No one wants to hear my story, no one cares. Lack in faith and love are the causes of fear. That is what the holy people from churches would imply through their "words of encouragement". My relatives would have no idea of SA. So, if the only people who are supposed to at least listen, won't do, what can you do? I have to accept, learn and live with it. I have been suffering from SA since senior high. I have always been depressed and extremely insecure anywhere outside my house. I feel fatigue, headache and fever everyday and every hour, and every minute and second. I struggled financially, socially, and emotionally to finish my college but I managed to get scholarship for a Masters from an Australian unversity. The later was poorly performed. My fear has made it imposibble for me to get along with anyone in pleasant manner and it is particularly tormenting being public servant and a tour guide, a job I think I like. I don't have any single close friend and I am so broke. I have a son at college, a senior high daughter and the rest two children at junior high and Kinder Garten. They will probably be sacked out of schools soon if I cannot pay for their schools fees. Well, I am on survival mode, NA and finance wise. The encouragement I have know that keeps me from deliberately destroying my life and my kids' is my hope in Christ. You may think it is ridiculous to believe in God, and yes, I do too. God's promisses never seemed to paint up for me all the years through, but my hope in him is what make keep one last hope if anything else fails, that is an internal life with him, my Lord and Savior. Do not lose your hope for time will come when he opens up his grace for you. Best regards from Sumba for all fellow SA warriors.