Okay, the last week has been a filled with ups and downs.
Some days depression has been back full force and Ive really felt like shit to be honest. The fact I dropped out of uni again really took a big hit on my confidence. The fact that I cant work out at all either due to my knee sugery is making it ten times worse since working out is my no 1 anti-depression strategy.
However Ive also seen great progress against my depression, I have been very good at not letting it keep me stuck inside my house and beat myself up and dwell on my problems. I have been really reenforcing the Acting against you negative emotions and Profound concept handouts (session 20 and 19). Ive made sure to always keep taking steps forward and doing things even when ive felt like shit.
The things Ive been doing are the following:
- Bought a cook book and when Im not working Ive made some really ni
ce meals for my family, also forces me to go out shopping for groceries etc
- Reading my text book from uni - this will make it easier for me when I get back to uni so I dont have to study so much and can focus a bit more on managing social anxiety in the beginning of the semester
- Made and effort to spend time with family and friends who are positive
- Running different errands that force me to get out of the house and also gives some sense of accomplishment
What Ive really realized this week is that even if I wake up one day and feel like absolute crap and cant even think straight due to depression, if I just get going and do stuff and I just accept that I feel like shit at the moment and try to just focus on what Im doing at the moment and away from the ANTs I will eventually feel a little better. Its been really important to not beat myself up about having trouble thinking, forgetting things etc when I do these things. Thats just one of the depression symptoms and it goes away when I feel better, and the only way to feel better is to get going