Discuss the Look Around technique, and mention specific examples from your life of how you have used this, and what kinds of things you discovered. Were people all staring at you? Or were they simply minding their own business, for the most part? Did something else happen. Share your experiences!
i got this problem in the gym where i have trouble with the look around technique.
im excessive looking at everybody in the eyes. im looking at everybody from person to person, scanning the hole place. and when im finished i start over again and again. when i try to not look at anyone i freak out. I CANT STOP. i have tried to just look straight ahead, but my eyes automatically look others in their eyes, and when they look back at me i look away, but seconds later i start looking at them again. some people dont respond very well to this, but i cant stop. if i dont look around at everybody i freak the hell out
I’ve been using the look around technique when I go on runs at the gym or outside, because I always feel like I’m being watched in my workout gear (yes I’m a woman)
What I found was that most women did not pay attention to me at all, but my gaze did catch some men staring at me. And as soon as theyd see me turn their way they would quickly turn away in what seemed like embarrassment lol. This happened to me 2 or 3 times once at the gym. It was a funny, yet empowering feeling. For once I felt like I was in control of my environment, and I didn’t feel so scared that people were watching me.
I find my comfort level using the look around technique hinges a few things : whether I have a real goal for being out in public and how well calibrated my look is (and of course starting out relaxed!). If both of those are ‘natural’ I feel relaxed and enjoy just being. Not having a goal is just doing look around as an exercise. I feel like a fraud because sometimes people want to engage eyes and I’m only motivated by completing my task. So I go to buy something- taking the longest route through the mall/shopping district to do it- and then leave.
My desired ‘calibrated’ look around is a steady but gently moving gaze where I take actual interest in surroundings- people, sounds, places, the air. I graze by peoples eyes on my way to soaking in the moment. That can be stimulating. I find a person subtly moving to music, I find a breeze being enjoyed on a hot day, I find nearly colliding a shared reason to look straight at the person and smile. I try to take interest in each scene, including people, and avoid staring at objects to be ‘safe’. When eye contact is made, I’m already somewhat relaxed and removed from my ‘exercise’. I find eye contact at that point is not intimidating. More of a natural outcome.
I think I will have these moments more and more. The look around can be more than a technique to prove ‘they’ are not staring at you, but can become a way to achieve a natural rhythm around people.
I’ve been doing this to ease my social anxiety. It was uncontrollable at first, but it was certainly necessary. I felt oddly satisfied when I completed looking around at all the people in the room. And then, the loop begins and I keep looking at the remaining members all over again.
The frequency of doing that has substantially decreased and I don’t have any odd thoughts associated with that. It’s more of like a check to determine whether you’re being stared at or not. I’m pretty sure most women would have done this at one point in their lives, especially after having spent $100 for that haircut lol