I'd wager you're not alone with such feelings. Anyone of us here could likely relate to what you say and how you feel. I do. I didn't find Dr. Richard's audio therapy until I was in my early 30s. I firmly believed I would never be worthy of a partner. I didn't date - that was too terrifyng. I was convinced I'd never have anyone and never be married. Irrational thoughts due to my social anxiety.
What can we do? We can do the therapy, step by step. Don't pressure ourselves to change these feelings overnight. That's impossible. But daily we take these right cognitive therapy steps. Slowly we can turn that feeling around. Certainly the alternative is not a place anyone of us wants to stay.
But let's not deny the very real and valid feelings you have now. Yes, many people go through life and hit those life events at a certain time, an earlier time than I did. Many of my friends got married, had the kids, the families. Some got divorced. Some are still single. Some like being single, others are dating - and there's a huge pool of people looking to date at all ages. Yes, dating changes at different ages. That's true.
I used to think I'd never have a relationship. Since dealing with my social anxiety, I've had relationships. I could have fallen into a relationship with social anxiety, perhaps only if I literrally FELL into it, but dealing with my social anxiety did help really open the door for me to approach a relationship, to let it happen and to be part in making it happen. I used to see myself as a failure for not being in a relationship. Now I see some awesome things about being single, too. (I'm just single again now, but I'm enjoying dating again.) One of my best buddies who went through the international group therapy with me - he had never had a relationship, felt he never would, felt that even approaching a woman would never exist for him, felt ashamed to be his age and never had that experience. He's married now. And by the way, he's certainly not the oldest person in the groups here to have had this issue and go onto have relationships in their lives, marriages. You aren't nearly the oldest person we've had in the groups here - no where close.
But I'm not defining their success by relationships or marriage. Certainly many of us want these healthy, caring parts of life in OUR LIVES. I know my friend no longer defines his success or happiness (or depression even) based upon this issue that once seemed like the highest mountain for him to climb. His thoughts are more rational on that as they are on other things - as we know, social anxiety touches everything. And once we start gently working to turn that anxiety around, the new rational thinking also affects everything.
You are not alone, but I know it feels like it. It felt that way when I first saw the SAI website, and couldn't imagine myself actually feeling any better than I did at that moment. I hope you give yourself the kindness you deserve, the patience to get better, the chance to take the therapy step by step. And in the very near future, going into the social situations you describe above, just be patient with yourself. You will still be anxious, you will still have these thoughts - but also try to remember to go neutral, to deal with the ANTs then and after the events.