Lack of Connection with others


#1

So I’ve been lingering on this forum for a few years and I admit I have had a few too many emotional issues to be able to commit to the therapy.

I am wondering about feeling a lack of connection with other people. Is this a social anxiety thing?

For anyone who has completed the series, did you feel more ‘connected’ with others after you completed it?


#2

Hello Shyflower,

Feeling like you lack connection with other people can be associated with social anxiety. I’ve felt this way before going through the therapy and the groups at the Institute, and now while sometimes I still feel like I can’t connect easily with others, I’m better able to connect with others now and feel a part of a group than I’ve ever felt before.

In my past with my social anxiety, I always felt like I was on the sidelines at a football game; never being able to participate, but always just observing the action. Now I feel more like I’m playing and I’m a part of things. So this can definitely get better with the therapy and getting over social anxiety, and you will likely be able to connect with other people more than you feel like you can at the moment.

-Mat


#3

Hi Mat,

Thanks so much for your reply. I also have family that sabotages my efforts to get well. I don’t understand why they won’t let me be happy.

Any positive change they see in me they will mock. It’s so cruel.

Every time I feel like I’m getting somewhere I revert back to old ways. It’s so frustrating.

Maybe my lack of support contributes to my lack of connection.


#4

I definitely feel a lack of connection with others. Sometimes it seems like the world is going on around me rather than me being part of the world. I liken it to a rock in a stream; the water simply flows around it as if it weren’t there.

I’m in the early stages of the therapy (session 6). It’s good to hear from someone who has gone through the whole thing that there’s hope to make connections.


#5

Sorry to hear that bud, hopefully you’re doing better now :slight_smile:

A lack of connection with people could be due to several reasons.

One of them could be the issue of trust. Does the person whom you’re with trust you enough to want to be closer to you- Heck, do YOU trust that person enough to share your inner most darkest secrets with? Okay, maybe not the darkest secrets but what about some personal info?

If you can’t trust someone enough to even share something about yourself, it’s hard to get close to people. It’s human psychology, we want to protect ourselves. If we do choose to reveal something about us, we’d expect others to do the same.

If you go telling someone a fear of yours, you’d likely expect them to tell you a fear of theirs too, right? Cause “It’s only natural” to trade such info XD

How is that linked to Social Anxiety? Well, mainly with the idea of being judged and not accepted by the other party. If you are afraid to be judged, you would want to protect yourself from “Harm” and hence, you’d tend to push someone away if they try to get closer to you or you’d not even attempt to get close to someone.

So point here-

One of the reasons to why you are having issues connecting with people, could be due to the lack of trust. Not saying that it is- just saying that it could be.

That is one of the most saddest thing that could happen to anyone. Stay strong. If you seek some explanation to why your family does this? Perhaps I can help provide some insights into it.

Let me use a crude example. Why do negative people dislike positive people?
From what I’ve gathered, it’s because PP has gained the courage to face the world and fight for their own happiness.

NP are always finding reasons not to take action and always looking for excuses to why they are the victims and how there’s no way things can change for the better.

When they see someone, especially a “Fellow” NP, trying to break out of it? They’d try to talk them down. Make sure they don’t succeed. Why? Because if my life is miserable, yours should be too.

That is the unfortunate truth about the dark side of humanity. I’ve seen it myself. Miserable people who ended up that way due to their own choices in life trying to pull others down with them so that they don’t have to be suffering alone.

That said- Not all “NP” are truly negative because they want you to be sad and unhappy.

Some of them does “Negative things” out of goodwill. Here’s an example (True story btw, with alias, of course lol):

Jack’s father constantly yells at him and makes fun of him for being a weakling who will have no future. The man bullies his own son and it hurts him really badly as he just couldn’t understand why his father is treating him this way. Why would he keep him around if he hates him?

To make himself feel better? Perhaps.

I spoke to Jack and after a little digging, we learned that Jack’s father was a military man who was also raised in an environment where being tough was mandatory. If you aren’t tough, you’d be taken down.

So I explained to Jack- It’s likely one of the reasons to why he is being so hard on him, is because that’s the only way his father knew on how to survive and make it in this world of wolves.

He survived and managed to make a living by going through lots of bs and since that was how he lived? It was the only way he knew how to teach his son to be able to live should the day come when he passes on.

Moral of the story? Just because someone is “Bad to you” doesn’t necessarily mean they do not have your best interest in heart.

For your case, it could be the case where they are truly heartless and just want you to fail in life; OR

They just don’t want you to try and get hurt. They just want to protect you in the way that they know how but they just don’t realize that you want to do something different.

Could be a possibility, no?

Of course, I can’t say for sure since I don’t know the whole story but if you’d like to share, feel free to pm me, yeah? I’d be more than happy to help :slight_smile:

[quote]Every time I feel like I’m getting somewhere I revert back to old ways. It’s so frustrating.

Maybe my lack of support contributes to my lack of connection.
[/quote]

Yet, you are still fighting on. Take credit and pride in this fact. As long as you don’t let go of Lady Hope, she will never abandon you.

Your lack of support definitely plays a role but don’t worry, things can change. We just need to work at it together!

Keep the faith, yeah? :wink:


#6

I joined a laughter yoga group !