I'm quite surprised that this works


#1

Obviously saying “hi” to someone or nodding to someone, even just making eye contact can be hard.
However, there have been three occasions when I have been able to say “hi” first, nod and wave.
After that, I was greatly surprised that for 5-10 seconds afterwards I genuinely felt slightly happier and even noticed I smiled almost instantly after as well.

Previously none of this would have been able to happen. Two would have happened.
Firstly, I would have kept my head down or pretended I didn’t notice them. Or secondly, I would have awkwardly made eye contact and instantly looked away due to eye contact feeling extremely weird (which it still does.)

After 15 weeks of these sessions, not only I but my family have been able to notice a difference in me (I smile more and sound more confident). I never thought that I would have been able to come so far in a short amount of time.
Even a couple of times I have been able to ask friends if they wanted to do something at the weekend; I also feel that due have friends unlike in the past where I felt like they were just there as ‘acquaintances’ for school to make me not look like a loner or that I was wired.

I’m glad that I had found this otherwise I wouldn’t be at the stage I am.
:smiley:


#2

Hi ihex ! happy to read your progress , even I have progressed a lot after doing this therapy, I can’t thank dr.richard enough…:heart:️:heart:️:rose:, I am ever grateful to dr.richard …


#3

iHEX,

Congratulations. Big changes in 15 weeks that you made possible. Yes, the therapy is there, and I’m grateful that it was there for my life, too. But still, YOU made it possible by doing the therapy, sticking with it, even with setbacks (which I’m sure you might have felt, as we all have setbacks, too).

You describe a feeling that we discuss in the therapy in Sessions 18, “The Profound Concept”, and in 19, “Act against your Negative Feelings”. The idea here is another paradox - generally our anxiety feelings are telling us to fear and worry and do one thing - perhaps escape, but that the healthy therapy solution would be to take the small step to do something, and only through the doing do we then realize suddenly that we feel better. It’s true - I’ve seen it countless times when I help people with behavioral experiments at the mall or other public places. At first the person is doubtful, resistant, full of reasons that seem rational to them to NOT do something we are about to try. And we take it step by step, slow it down, but finally we do the behavioral experiment. And just by doing that one small thing, suddenly that anxiety wall is broken through and the person feels better. They smile, they actually feel suddenly they feel better. Before that - inaction - they feel anxious. After - action - their mood lifts, their anxiety decreases.

As talked about other places in the therapy, we feel more anxious when we don’t do, when we hesitate.

You did the right thing - small steps, taking the initiative where you can - simply saying “hi”, simply nodding to someone. That is very proactive and it makes a difference just as you write here. You took the first step and you felt better. You made the decision to act away from anxiety, not in a way that allows it to persist.

And because you did this, other parts of your life are starting to open up and change. Small steps, small behavioral efforts, and repetition of these, gradually lead to big changes.

Great job!