You make a very good point here - perhaps the video can help some who feel confused by this handout.
I think ninetwentynine makes very good comments in their post on this thread. Yes, we don't get this handout in Session 2. It comes later, when we're better able to act on this. At first, we must not blame ourselves for what social anxiety does to us, for how it makes us behave. We're not the terrible definitions we put on ourselves. We are not what the ANTs tell us we are. There has to be a period at first where we are learning to identify that, to see that there is another reality possible, to begin to move in that direction. We have to learn that, yes, other people generally don't think about us that much, no more than normal, and they certainly don't judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves. Over time, we move to self-acceptance as something stronger. No matter what someone thinks about you, it's how you think of yourself that is more important. This belief will take time.
This handout comes later, at a point where we have laid a better rational foundation. It may be we are feeling better, more rational, and it may be a time where we are indeed changing our thoughts, but we aren't yet acting upon the thoughts quite yet. And when we act first, take the first proactive steps to engage rather than avoid, we will often be surprised that we do feel better. And this action will affect how we see the world and how the world sees us. We can't deny that if we still take no action, if we continue to be passive or quiet, others will form an opinion of us based upon our actions. Is their opinion true or accurate? No, not necessarily. But this is how we all behave in the world. We also form opinions of others - this person seems friendly, that person seems shy. That person seems rude, that person seems crazy! We come to these opinions based upon someone's actions. We don't come to these opinions based upon an ability to see into their minds and read their thoughts. And whatever opinion you have of someone might naturally affect how you then engage with that person.
So the same is true for us. The point is that if we want to change how we move through the world, which I assume we do because we hope to overcome social anxiety and we are doing this therapy, then we also need to admit that our actions will be a big part of this. Don't expect people to be nice first, or to say hi first, or to be treated in some particular way. Especially don't expect this if you are still not engaging with the world. We start engaging with the world, and then you will see and feel a change. And then our perception of that world will also change, positively.
I will try to give one small example, which makes me think of this topic:
In the therapy groups here, by this point in the therapy, people have made a lot of personal advancements. They are socializing with group members, doing proactive things inside and outside of the group. They are more frequently able to stop ANTs, to identify new ANTs, to be more rational daily. They begin to feel better, and to truly know that they aren't defined by social anxiety, even though we still have much work and time to go. But, day by day, they are feeling better, doing things they never thought possible before the therapy. During the week, the group members decide on events to do together. This requires a group leader for each week. This requires some communication - group communication about coordinating plans... where to meet, what time, who is going to come, who is not coming. Plans need to be made of course, and some events require some form of reservation, etc. Currently the group manages these communications via emails and some chatting/messaging APPs. But, here's where I've seen some "tension". It is common, and not really surprising, that the communication doesn't always go so well. This can happen with anyone - social anxiety or not. But, in my experience, many of us with social anxiety know the tendency not to answer emails promptly, not to reply to communications. And also, as the weekly leader, that person needs to "step up" to the challenge of managing the events, etc. All of this is good practice for us. As you can imagine, the communication can be quite spotty at times. "Today we have this activity, at 7:00pm - we need to confirm who is coming... Please reply and let us know, etc..." This might be a typical email. And some reply, and some members do not. Now you can argue this point back and forth, and this example is not about how to communicate, or email etiquette... This is about how our actions can lead to how we are perceived by others. I've noticed that there is sometimes that communication breakdown, and this leads to some frustration. And that frustration is completely normal in the normal world. Hey, why didn't you respond?! Hey, I thought you were coming, but you didn't come and that caused a problem.... XYZ. So it is perfectly natural to see that one person may feel some frustration in these situations, and from one perspective, that is fair frustration. The action, or rather inaction, of the person could lead to an opinion of that person from other people, based upon their actions. Now, the opinion of that person is not the important thing to you. We hope to get to the point where we are not living our lives based on the false beliefs we have about what someone is thinking about us. But still, to deny that your actions affect other people, affect how they view you, and affect therefore how your world is thereafter shaped, that would be to deny reality. The point is to see how your actions shape and color your world, your thoughts and your feelings. The point is to start taking action, in a positive way.
In the real world, if you try to communicate with someone at work or socially, and if that person doesn't follow through on their promises, or doesn't reply to your communications, or fails to meet deadlines at work - you don't spend much time thinking about their personal reasons or their thoughts. You make your decisions about how you will deal with them moving forward and what you will expect, or not expect from them, based upon their actions. That's how it goes.
To continue working to overcome social anxiety by this time in the therapy, you recognize this fact, and you recognize that you also need to take action in your life to produce the change in feelings and the change in results that you hope for.