I stumbled across this community while searching on Google about how to spend New Years Eve alone without wallowing in loneliness. I never thought of myself as having social anxiety, I just thought people didn't like my personality. I figured I'd just live life without any friends. But after I kept seeing links to social anxiety websites, I started thinking about WHY I'm spending NYE alone tonight. It's because I turned down an invitation to a party that my boyfriend is going to. My reason? Because I don't know anyone there other than him. I'm letting my fear of making a fool out of myself get in the way of spending the evening with someone I love. I got on a few of those websites and took their online tests to see if I have SAD. I scored in the "moderate" range on all of them. So here I am... I'm not really sure where to go from here but I feel like I just reached the foot of a huge mountain I'm now looking up at that has been in my way this whole time and I just couldn't see it through the fog. Funny thing is, I have been seeing a therapist for some time and she hasn't picked up on this yet. She did think it was strange that I wouldn't go to the party, and urged me to go, but I told her there was no way I could do it. I'd feel awkward. I would stand out. So now, I'll be spending NYE alone, when what I really want is to be with my boyfriend at that party. Ok, what I REALLY want is to be with my boyfriend at home without any strangers or other people around, but that's beside the point. I apologize for rambling, I'm just overwhelmed right now.