The habit, created by my father during my childhood, is to feel guilty every time after doing or saying something that I deeply believe in. The neuron pathways responding on this command were build by being punished for every pleasure bringing decision. Trough the years my brain learned to expect punishment as a reaction to endorphins( or happiness ). That way, with many repetitions, expectation became FEAR. That fear is not affected by life pillars, it is permanently existing in all of them, which makes it General. So on acting under the affection of the General Fear I created completely wrong image of the World. I can see that now. I guess this is how I build up my S.A.D.
It just came in my mind after anxiety causing situation today. I am in session 7 now.( last day today )
I would like to hear from you guys and also from a specialist as an answer, it will be very helpful for me.
If you also see deep in the past, here is the place to share …
Wish you permanent cleanse and happy future …
See you around, Stef