Doing the therapy series a while. Recently given medication for ADHD related symptoms and finding I'm more sociable on the meds. But I get a lot of anxiety and uncertainty and feelings of defeat when I think about the fact that it is medication that seems to be helping me. Don't get me wrong, the therapy is slowing working, but the meds have given me a bit of a jump start. I could kind of do without the excess uncertainty of feeling like I am relying on medication, I don't need them, they just help me get organised etc.
Basically I have a strong belief of 'I will never get better', this belief amplifies considerably when on medication and goes back to the idea 'there is something wrong with me'. I want to be medication free but feel that I should take advantage of it.