Are my paranoid delusions real?


#1

I feel like I am going crazy. I’ve tried talking to my psychologist, a psychiatrist, my friends, and my family and I feel like everybody is in on this big joke except me. It started with a bad LSD trip, and it just keeps getting worse. I feel like I’m on a much more sinister version of The Truman Show. i’m afraid that my own family hates me and are actually paid actors, i’m afraid that everybody is watching me and knows everything about me and hates me. i’m afraid that in order to “end” this i’m supposed to kill myself, and not only that but I feel like people WANT me to kill myself.

i’m truly losing my mind, i can’t even go out in public because i feel like people are looking at me funny- like they know who i am, and they think i’m a joke.

i think everything i’ve ever judged people for is something i am or something i do.

i feel like mirrors are lying to me and i’m actually overweight and horrendously ugly and i just cant see it. i feel like everybody is lying to me. i cant trust anybody. i feel sick all the time. i just want this end.

i dont know what to do anymore


#2

I think you answered your own question. Of course your delusions are NOT real. If they were, then they wouldn’t be delusions.

The key point here is that you FEEL like all this is happening. You need to reinforce to yourself that your perceived reality is NOT based on fact; it is based on emotions.

Try repeating to yourself: “Maybe what I’m feeling and thinking is not true.”

Then take a good look at your surroundings. Really look at what the people around you are doing. Are people looking at you funny? Is everyone judging you and urging you to kill yourself? Or are they just minding their own business and not paying any attention to you? What could you possibly being doing to draw so much attention to yourself anyway?

The key is that you need to try and be rational. You already know that these feelings are not true, or you wouldn’t be calling them “paranoid delusions.” You need to catch yourself when you’re having these thoughts and tell yourself “That is not true!” or something along those lines. And then find something to distract yourself to get your mind off it. Take a walk, sing along to some music, whatever keeps your mind away from those negative thoughts.

Hopefully this helps. I’m just regurgitating what I’m learning in the therapy right now lol. Just remember: Killing yourself is never the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And this is coming from someone that’s played with the thought for years. Don’t do it. You know it’s not the answer.


#3

thank you. i needed to hear this. i really appreciate it!