Its difficult to sum up my story in this post but Ill try to talk about the important parts. So when I was a kid I didnt have social anxiety. I was actually the opposite I used to talk alot and giving presentations was fun for me and I liked the attention. I was actually kicked out of the classroom alot in middleschool and i was u could say the class clown. Ishould mention I moved alot as a kid and had some family issues. when I was 15 I moved and thats when my problems started with social anxiety. alot of factors I could say increased my social anxiety. one of them is that in school I was bullied a bit like I was made fun of alot and I used to be a bit sensitive.one time even this older kid just started hitiing me for no reason out of the blue but i wasnt terribly hurt and managed to get away . and because i used to make the class laugh alot I became like someone to make fun of so when I went to highschool I became quiet to avoid attention from bullies.
Another thing is that I have alot of relatives and they used to criticise me alot and that affected me a bit. I then i became suddenly very socially anxious that it was difficult to make eye contact or to even have a conversation with anyone.
the thing is my social anxiety is really weird that I had physical symptoms that my face show that Im about to cry or nervous.so I had a self fullfilling prophecy that was in a vicious cycle.
After that I left to study medicine on a scholarship to malta from my government at 18 yearsold . a month after I was there I was diagnosed with ulcerative collitis (uc). Now whats worse having a mental illness or a physical one like uc? . Uc symptoms are really debilitating u spend most of your time in the bathroom and its difficult to go out. On top of that I had social anxiety so Ihad 2 factors not allowing me to go out. I always searchd for a solution I knew that there had to be one mainly for social anxiety. I found this therapy series and when dr. richards was talking I had goosbumps as if what he went thru was the same as me.
I noticed a change immediately with the therapy but I still was very socially anxious but with the days passing by it became easier and easier , and I got better and better. unfortunately the uc part wasnt getting better I was changing my medications with striong ones with no improvement. Finally after 5 years I am in remission as I finally found the best treatment for my uc.
I always attributed the cause of my uc with social anxiety and I thaught that if I cured my social anxiety I would cure my uc . now i like to go out and i have alot i mean alot less anxiety , sometimes even no anxiety and I attribute it to this therapy series and I say that the internet literrally saved my life. Now whats more difficult having a chronic physical illness or a mental illness like social anxiety ? I think social anxiety disorder is one of the worst things that could ever happen to someone. this coming from someone who has uc.
On top of these I study medicine which is a very hard course and demands alot of studying from. It causes so much stress.Now Im in my final year. And the university is really not helpful with any of my circumstances so no thanks to them .
now I feel a bit lost and I want my life back after all thats happened to me. I feel like a baby thats just starting to walk, lol if that makes sense.